niedziela, 3 października 2010

Everything came back

Everything came back, all those feelings I used to love and hate. It's really complicated. You came here yesterday. For what? Did You want to make me feel sad and depressed again? You knew how it will finish. My heart is broken again. Everytime when I see You, talk to You, I have feeling like I have chance, but when You`re gone, You don't even write me/call me. Do You like looking how I'm burning? and how pain is killing me inside? I love You, but sometimes I wish we have never met.
Do You know this feeling when Your heart's beating stronger, You can't take a breath, You shiver and don't know what to say? That`s the feeling when You see Your sweetheart and You just can't be with him.
I feel it everytime I see You and this awareness is killing me!!
Sometimes at night, I`m sitting alone in my room and thinking if You have ever missed me, my crazy ideas, my words to You or if You have ever thought ``I need her``.
What a shame it won't even happen. :(
even though my heart's broken,
even though sometimes I can't look at You,
and even though all the time I know much worse things about You,
I still love You with my all heart!!
M, You`re the only one person who can fill that emptiness in my heart!
so where are You? come back and do something to make me happier :(
:o ?
Hey, do You know what I want to do? I want to turn back time, not because I want to repair something, but I want some things to happen again, because they were so amazing! like yesterday, yeah.
HOPE IS GONE
(c) picture - google

8 komentarzy:

  1. Oh my poor girl :(. I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend left me, too. I think I would die if I had to see him. I am really happy that we are not in school anymore.

    The only advice I can give you is that the pain will go away when time passes. The pain you are feeling now won't go away with a finger snip, but it will fade.

    You are a great girl and will meet other guys that are more worthy of getting your love.

    Now you should try to not think about him too much, meet your friends a lot and do things you love to do. And... cry as much as you want to, that always helps ;).

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  2. but my situation is a little bit different... he didn't leave me. Its something hmm, worse for me.

    and thanks for Your advice and for being with me, I`m glad <3 I hope You`re feeling fine as well!

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  3. I know you're not to thrilled with me again but I have to comment this entry because I'm still loving you and these words are so powerful sweetie.. You really make my own heart hurt when I read them and almost feel your pain..
    "Do You know this feeling when Your heart's beating stronger, You can't take a breath, You shiver and don't know what to say? That`s the feeling when You see Your sweetheart and You just can't be with him."
    I do know this feeling, a little differently than you since mine is just from long distance of location and yours is from long distance of the heart >.< I hope that made sense.
    I used to know this feeling with a boy who treated me badly and I don't know if I really told you much about him but he wouldn't pay me much attention but when he was around I felt like it was great and I was blessed for this moment. It's also a bit different.. I felt like I didn't deserve any better than his treatment.. I never knew anyone could love me whole heartedly before him and give me what I really needed to not be pained with this all the time. At the time, I thought this man was the only thing for me and I was in love..
    I don't know the situation with you and M as good to say much if it's the same thing, somehow I doubt it is (I don't think it is) because you know how to handle yourself and you seem much more in love than I was. I was fooling myself and never could write things like this, I'd get angry or upset but never be able to write something like this..
    I really want M to come to you and give you the love you need, maybe it's what will help you be happy and more... idk.. I don't have a word. I know your tough times, this is why I can never be angry with you (at least not for long) or not understand you (sorry if it ever seems that way) because I know we have a connection that no matter what happens can not be broken. It's a weird thing and sometimes it seems like we're less but I believe with all my heart we are never less because if you ever really needed me (I swear, I didn't think that was something huge, I was really busy but I'd have responded for sure in a few days, honestly, I was thinking about it but I really thought you'd understand) I'd be there for you like all those times you asked me on ICQ and if you needed a place to stay, I'd find a way to fly you here (I REALLY WOULD.) and I'd do anything to help you.. just like I know if anything really bad happened to me, I think you'd be there for me and try your best for me, too. Anyways, because of all this things I know about you I know also that you really deserve something good and full in your life and I really want you to have it, honestly. I want you to find happiness. No matter what happens, that is a top wish in my heart. I really hope he is missing you, thinking of you, because I know I feel those things about you and I know you deserve a love to feel those things, too. I think it would be hard for him not to, you're an amazing and beautiful woman, Klaudia.

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  4. I know you're not to thrilled with me again but I have to comment this entry because I'm still loving you and these words are so powerful sweetie.. You really make my own heart hurt when I read them and almost feel your pain..
    "Do You know this feeling when Your heart's beating stronger, You can't take a breath, You shiver and don't know what to say? That`s the feeling when You see Your sweetheart and You just can't be with him."
    I do know this feeling, a little differently than you since mine is just from long distance of location and yours is from long distance of the heart >.< I hope that made sense.
    I used to know this feeling with a boy who treated me badly and I don't know if I really told you much about him but he wouldn't pay me much attention but when he was around I felt like it was great and I was blessed for this moment. It's also a bit different.. I felt like I didn't deserve any better than his treatment.. I never knew anyone could love me whole heartedly before him and give me what I really needed to not be pained with this all the time. At the time, I thought this man was the only thing for me and I was in love..
    I don't know the situation with you and M as good to say much if it's the same thing, somehow I doubt it is (I don't think it is) because you know how to handle yourself and you seem much more in love than I was. I was fooling myself and never could write things like this, I'd get angry or upset but never be able to write something like this..

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  5. I really want M to come to you and give you the love you need, maybe it's what will help you be happy and more... idk.. I don't have a word. I know your tough times, this is why I can never be angry with you (at least not for long) or not understand you (sorry if it ever seems that way) because I know we have a connection that no matter what happens can not be broken. It's a weird thing and sometimes it seems like we're less but I believe with all my heart we are never less because if you ever really needed me (I swear, I didn't think that was something huge, I was really busy but I'd have responded for sure in a few days, honestly, I was thinking about it but I really thought you'd understand) I'd be there for you like all those times you asked me on ICQ and if you needed a place to stay, I'd find a way to fly you here (I REALLY WOULD.) and I'd do anything to help you.. just like I know if anything really bad happened to me, I think you'd be there for me and try your best for me, too. Anyways, because of all this things I know about you I know also that you really deserve something good and full in your life and I really want you to have it, honestly. I want you to find happiness. No matter what happens, that is a top wish in my heart. I really hope he is missing you, thinking of you, because I know I feel those things about you and I know you deserve a love to feel those things, too. I think it would be hard for him not to, you're an amazing and beautiful woman, Klaudia.

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  6. Sorry it was two part, the thing said there wasn't enough room for it all and I had a lot to say.

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  7. kotokochi - That's so touching what You have said, I cried, I swear. I am thankful You still care and love me, remember I love You too, no matter whats happening! (I have already told You that but yes!) everything I wrote in this entry is true, I feel it every second... I miss my Dearest and I can't live with him. </3 but as I see he's living great without me :) but when I see him lucky, I become lucky as well.
    All I want is his luck!
    I hope You and Jay can see each other soon! I wish You all the best, You`re the best couple ever.
    and if someone didn't appreciate Your feelings he was so stupid!! because You're most amazing person in this world that I know!
    I`m always here for You too, don't forget that. Thanks for everything!

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  8. I should have read this comment back first before my message but I'll reply more to it here.
    I'm really glad my words could reach you. I do love you and I'm sorry for everything thats happening. ): I know your feeling but it's so selfless of you to only wish for his happiness but it's unfair he's depriving you of it >.<
    Thank you dear, I hope it happens because he's supposed to be here Christmas >.<
    Yeah he was a cheating jerk ):

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